The Unapparent Offense

For awhile, my mind has been surrounding all the things (relationships, friendships, covenants) which have been broken due to things I've said either behind someone's back or to their face. Sometimes, we forget to calculate how powerful words are. This is merely a reflection of damage I have done. When you know better, you do better; and with this momento now on my desktop, the excuses to run off at the mouth or now next to none. I pray this blesses you.

Love and Blessings,
Jay

The Unapparent Offense
by J.R. Scott for Rasilliant Enterprises (c) 2011

Reception lackluster.
A simple “hi” they can barely muster.
It’s been years since you’ve spoken—
Communication apparently broken.

You rejoice to see them, yet they reserve,
To engage in a reunion definitely deserved.
What reason could surround this insecurity?
Barely willing to even acknowledge me…

Skimming through words at nearly the speed of light.
Not seeing the seeds of discord silently set aflight.
A few dangerous echoes, from these lips did resound.
And a covenant relationship was barraged to the ground.

Words often flow like a Polynesian spring,
but what they (do) infer can often bring…
A separation of heart like no man has seen—
next to nothing can, for this offense redeem.

Your presence on their memory now eerily stains,
though they never took time to sit and explain.
Those hurtful, poisonous words of apparent disdain—
that in silence they chose to inwardly contain.

Your many good deeds now overshadowed,
by something your baggy tongue carelessly tattled.
Carelessly negating to select prudent words to say,
an innocent soul has now lost their way.

The Iridescence of Ugliness

There are invaluable treasures to be acquired out of ugly situations, yet we avoid them at all cost. We seek to be seen from angles that show us as having it together, possessing all the answers, and flossing our expertise on an array of subjects. We focus on presenting seemingly impenetrable exteriors, yet hosting the most hollow, void places inwardly. The potency of ugliness and the potential therein reside in the fact that ugly situations freely shine a mirror on internal surfaces that we dare not show others. Exposure, embarrassment, and sheer humiliation are three things that if we could, I'm sure we'd all live without. However, what's on the flip side of these pride parasites? What if it took an embarassing situation to draw the most concentrated form of kindness out of you? Would it be worth it? I'm learning that we can possess a degree of iridescence throughout an ugly ordeal. Meaning, you could be looking mired and mangled to one person, while reflecting a luminous pallet of bright colors to another. What's the variant here? Perception and sadly, the usual lack of it. Nine out of ten people who are watching you during persecution are misperceiving why you are there. Many will assume that you're there because of frivilous choices you made in your life. Others will attribute your fate to you reaping karma that you've sewn. Then there's the truth. The very fact that God is either working a virtue into you and/or prying an undesireable element out of you could be the sole reason of you being in that trial. Within these last two years, I've endured storms that have taught me more about myself than I've ever EVER deemed possible OR wanted to see. These series of what some would deem "ugly events" only happened because God allowed them to...I've tasted first-hand the powerful lesson that beauty remains so, even in ugliness. Strength remains in tact (if not stronger) during the most draining series of events. And while some are looking at you in judgement and false perception, inwardly something is radiating from inside of you that has the capability to inspire, to motivate, and to change lives. And THIS phenomenon is in no way, shape, or form ugly. Regardless to what condition (color) people may see you as, you're the smallest budge from appearing to be the most radiant complexion of humanity. So despise NOT the ugliness of these precarious situations we go through, but manipulate them to reflect a shadow of translucence that only a true creation of divinity could manage. Shine the light on the pathway of someone else.

Choices and the Power Therein...(An Audible Reflection)

Either we are wedged between two of them, reaping the backlash of one of them, or basking in the delectable essence of a series of the right ones. I'm talking about choices. The ability to choose is something that all humanity must partake in. I'm sure we'd all like to think we are always making the right ones, but that is simply not the case. However, as of late, I've been finding much solace in the fact that tomorrow offers us a new platform of choices. We can choose to use our tomorrows as trampolines to catapault us into the current of momentum, or we can continue to dwell on the failure of bad choices of yesterday we may have made. When I look at the orchestration of God's creation, I am in awe of one thing: God left man with the power of choice. Dogs had to bark, chickens had to cluck, snakes had to hiss, and the billows were left to roll, but man had the power to choose. He could etch his persona into the very earth that God had given him dominion over or he could choose to wisk around the love of his life (Eve) for hours on hand aside streams of crystal-clear creeks while the fields went untended. Adam even went as far as negating the status of life by choosing to partake of the forbidden fruit tree. There is, however, a morsel of reflection to consider here. Even though Adam and Eve surely sinned against God through disobedience, they were able to handle the consequences of their choice. Though they were sentenced to (eventual) death, they still handled it. Though childbirth would greatly pain Eve, she handled it. Then, something occured to me, perhaps it is meant for us to make SOME bad choices. If character is going to transcend into spheres of greatness, it should be expected that some resistance must take place. However, too many times I've allowed one bad choice to diffuse into a multitude of pity-driven, rash choices. This is the frivilous maze our devour seeks to consume us with. My views and stances continue to evolve along with my experiences. Now, I don't seek to achieve a 100% threshold in every decision-making proposition I am faced with, BUT I will ONLY make choices that I am able to bear the consequence of. If I find that I can't handle the fallout from the choice I may potentially make, then I'll simply choose another path. A wise man told me once, to count up ALL the costs and sometimes we have to do exactly that. Sometimes, you must allow yourself to be freed from the curse of staying the same only because making a choice seems more painful. Plan wisely, pray fervently, and expect the GREAT! God Bless you all!

That Darn "D" Word

No matter what the reason, I will never celebrate divorce. And while I will relent to the fact that some marriages do need to be dissolved, had intuition and insight been allowed to trump sheer lust, a marriage and subsequently, a divorce just may not have occured. Tonight, I was shocked to see that former Governor Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver were separating. I found it especially unfortunate given that they had just reached their 25-year milestone. It would be very easy and quite typical to criticize marriages ending in dissolution, but I’m the type of person who would rather find a solution than fault. As appealing as marriage and its benefits appear to be, I can say that I am just now reaching the maturity level where I would be able to earnestly commit to the eternal decision of marriage. Years ago my Godmother admonished me to be specific in what traits and/or characteristics I would pursue in a wife. I immediately began to turn my mind to the things which gratified my superficial taste buds. This body type, this level of education, this length of hair, etc frivolously sat in the high-priority seats where crucial elements such as longsuffering, intelligent, and/or spiritual-minded should have been seated. As she shared with me where my thinking and logic was wrong, I began to realize one of the main elements I truly desire is someone intelligent enough to wrap their entire mind, soul, and spirit around the word commitment. It becomes a dubious task to consider the prospect of marriage when statistics state that one of every two marriages will be dissolved…
I then turn my mind to my own parents who are embarking on 35 years of being together. How have they endured so long? They have definitely had their share of hard times, financial and other issues which threatened the very foundation of which their union was built; however, their commitment to each other has been unwavering. I’ve watched peers carelessly jump into marriages—even with warning against doing so. And just as soon as they are married, it seems they are divorced. Where is the fight for love? Are cycles of revolving marriages a result of seeing what someone else has and haphazardly orchestrating a union without carefully putting together all the pieces of the puzzle? Why is it that we feel marriage will change spouses? There are just so many questions which resonate in my mind about how individuals can so easily let their vow before God be severed without even a fight. I guess I will continue to seek the right answers, but I will always and forever hate that “D” word…

Dissipating Debris (RIP to Mister Fan)

After falling asleep at 4:00am, it was to be expected that an unwanted 8:30am wake-up call irritated me to heinous extremes.  In addition to my 2-year old nephew beckoning “geddup Cheson,” something was just not right.  My power cord must’ve been failing, because my fan was mysteriously off.  In four fluid steps, I had both escorted my nephew out the door and moved the fan to another outlet.  Moments later, I lay there on my back staring at the ceiling.  Something was still not right.  The fan was not working.  I manipulated the chord as I did with my old laptop cord which housed a gigantic short.  It was broken.  Back staring at the sky, I inwardly longed for some type of noise to silence my thoughts.  Nothing.  Silence.  More silence.  Then came the tears.  I wasn’t in pain nor was I distraught over the fan being broken—there was another on in the basement.  It was more symbolic then that.  For over 12 years, this fan has been the background music drowning out my loudest prayers, my hugest breakdowns, and an array of other activities that took place in my personal sanctuary.  The messes of life often created by my own hand can no longer be blown away.  It is an easy task to hide emotions, pain, and other ambiguous feelings when you have a covenant with a fan which promises to dissipate all evidence by the following morning.  Now, I’m extra vulnerable because not only is there nothing to cancel out the noise, I can no longer do away with evidence from the night before. I reckon that Mister Fan grew weary of being my personal scapegoat.  Rest in Peace, sir…You’ve been good to me!  #nowplaying “I Wish It Would Rain” by the Temptations.

Christmas 2010

This Christmas, I was fortunate to receive a new laptop from my beloved parents. I am taking this time to sync my new laptop with my blogs. I feel this will give me more incentive to blog more frequently. I really do have so much to say! Gee whiz. I hope that Santa brings everyone what their heart desperately longs for.  Even in all the gift exchanging, caroling, and eating those yummy foods let’s not forget the true reason behind Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ.  Happy Holidays to all! Peace, Passion, and Prosperity to all! :-)

Straight Into The Camera

by J.R. Scott for Rasilliant Rhymes (c) 2010

No more profile shots; I’m done.
Attempting to hide flaws that only buffer my completion.
The deletion of imperfection only skews my picture-perfect view.
I’m no long willing to hide blemishes that spot my face.

That’s right−I’m looking straight on.
Ready to face the rejection that I’ve so long shied away from.
No more pretention, for the dimension of my reflection stains eternity.
Never to go away; no more feelings of dismay−I’m fearfully made.

No waiting to lose weighty bulk from my face.
For beauty can be found in more sizes than one
So come and enjoy my couture huskiness,
As I invent poses never experienced on “our” side of the spectrum.

My wide nose will I no longer contour to be smaller−
For in it hosts detectors of opportunity, inspiration, and warning.
And the lines cross my forehead, I won’t apologize for.
For they symbolize wisdom stretching far across the board.

My juicy lips, I’m finished tucking in, for they have tasted humanity.
So, to you on the other side of the camera pan close as you can.
I’m ready to showcase my endowment.
Bring your best infrared for this oversized head.

My beautiful black skin doesn’t show what’s within,
but a glance in these eyes tells more than a story.
You’ll see pain, victory, compassion, and hope−
Confidence, love, fear, and an ability to cope.

Take your place cameraman, I’m ready to pose.
But don’t even think about asking me to turn sideways.
For I am now ready to look the world head on−
Straight into the camera.